Lovescription

Mainak Guha

Somedays, I repent, on my anger, my mistakes, my ego and our rigidness over the wrongs. I
crave so much to see you once, a second would do enough may be, to fill in the oxygen.
The nights would still be sleepless though, but oblivion would not crush me so easily then.
But ever since you left, or rather we departed, I have not caught a glance of you. We were
young blood, full of adrenaline, and rage led us to delete the social profiles as well. I decided
to move on, and permanently erased all your digital remembrances from my system. That
followed by a posting a sea away, pushed my waves further away from your shores.

Well, I could never grow out of you. I was not weak, but our connection had become stronger
by then. It's like that little piece of shrapnel sticking to your heart. Removing it would bleed
me to death, keeping it made me follow your shadow in my dreams and reality.
But I survive. There is a tiny dust of magic still alive. Once, long ago, when hearts still beat
as one, you sent me a voicenote. That wildflower stayed and bloomed in my old memory
chip lying at an abandoned corner of the drawer, which I found by chance while searching

for a sleeping pill frantically in a rainy midnight.

This sound so like fantasy, all made up? But so is life, for some of us.
I run that voicenote over and over again, and it makes the top of my playlist. Pink Floyd or
Coldplay may sound better, but that small voicenote saved me from drowning. It gives me
hope, every time, from times gone. Yes, even from a withered and broken past, you can find
in a little bit of stardust, of things that were everything for you. It becomes my time machine
on lonelier afternoons, and all I feel is you whispering me by the ear," We are awesome, and

You are my Hero."

Isn't that enough for a soul to live? I can still feel your warm breath at times over.